Confession
by Little Miss Defensive
Summary: What do you do when the one you love is moments away from death? Beckett/Castle


She let herself into his loft, her hands trembling. She couldn't believe everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. She shut the door with a click, and placed his key into her coat pocket. She stood for a moment, looking around his home. She looked towards the stairs, and then began walking to them. _Get his things, get back to the hospital._ She told herself. She was so scared though, so angry with herself for letting this happen, letting him get hurt. She wanted to be with him every second until he was better, but she also wanted to just disappear so that no one would be able to blame her.

His room was tidy, the bed made. A book lay open on his bedside table, and half a cup of water. She found the overnight bag under his bed where Alexis said it would be, and moved to his drawers to find some underwear, and change of clothes for him. She opened the top drawer, and found his underwear; she yanked out a couple of pairs without really looking and threw them into the open bag. She looked back into the drawer before closing it, and something white caught her eye. She pushed aside the remaining underwear, and found an envelope. '_Detective Beckett,'_ she read on the front. She froze, holding the envelope in her hand. Was she _supposed_ to find this? She closed her eyes tightly. Before she over-analysed the situation, she opened the envelope, sitting on the bed to read the letter she held in her hand.

_.._

_I love you Katherine Beckett. I hope before I died, I told you those words: I love you. They are momentous words, and they are not easy to say. I think they are words that in the past I have used far too freely, but with you... I know for sure it is different._

_Always,_

_Richard Castle_

_.._

She felt the tears she had resisted all day pool in her eyes and they escaped and tracked down her face, she bowed her head and the tears dripped from her nose. _Oh Rick._ She tucked the letter back into the envelope, and placed it back in the drawer. The tears impaired her vision, but she rummaged through his drawers, through his bathroom cabinet until she found all the things he would need. Before she left she snatched up his book from the bedside table and placed it on top of the other items she had put in his bag, and she zipped it closed. Maybe she was being optimistic picking up the book, but she had to hold onto the fact that he could be okay. She sat back on the bed for a moment, covering her face with her hands and tried her best to get the tears under control. She couldn't drive in this state, but she needed to get back to him.

..

"Kate?" Alexis looked up as she entered the room, her face pale and her eyes red rimmed. Beckett figured she looked in a similar state to Castle's daughter right now.

"I have his things," she held the bag up to show her, and placed it at the end of his bed. She hadn't looked at him since she had entered the room, it frightened her. "Any change?"

"No," Alexis answered quietly. "It's been a while, but the doctors said he may not wake until tomorrow."

The bullet had entered near his kidney, damaging it beyond repair. By the time Beckett had gotten to him he had already lost a lot of blood. She had been around the back of the building they were checking out when she heard the shot. She had been slowed by one of the shooters buddies, but had eventually managed to subdue him; she knocked him out cold actually. Beckett hadn't felt as much fear, and pain as she saw Castle bleed out on the grass at the front of the building. She had applied pressure, and called an ambulance. She prayed then, while Castle's blood soaked through her clothes and made her hands slick with his warm blood. She hadn't prayed in a long time, she wasn't even sure she believed. But she didn't know what else to do. What do you do when the one you love is moments away from death?

..

I probably won't continue this story, but may do a sequel one day. I just.. had this idea and I had to get it out.


End file.
